Things left unsaid...

There are times I enjoy going into the drafts section of this blog, my podcast and even my emails. It is so interesting to see how many thoughts I've left behind. Times I was upset but realized the words I chose did not help the situation. Times I've been concerned that I'd be misunderstood. Times I've just forgotten to push publish or send.

I find that primarily things get placed and left in drafts because of fear. Fear that I would not sound intelligent or that I would sound difficult. This also carries over to my personal life. My throat chakra is sore and full of so many words left unsaid. So many times when I wanted to stick up for myself or tell someone that what they were doing was wrong.

I must admit I miss my childhood. I long for those times when I just said. But, that childhood was also filled with tears of others who were hurt by words I thought were mere observations. People would get angry and stop talking to me. In society we think this is all about learning how to be a part of society. And really that is correct, but occurrences like that left unchecked lead to fear and self-censorship.

Now my 40's and 50's are learning how to speak up when I can. It's about learning that my voice matters and is a force of good. I think many of my family and friends would find it surprising that I agonize over my words. But, I do. That is part of the reason why I love writing. Writing gives me a chance to see the words. To craft them and understand them before someone else can see them. It gives me a chance to put the words down without abandon and some of those words get sent and some get left on draft but no matter what those words are released.

We may not always have something profound or even nice to say but, we all need a chance to get them out. I'm coming back to this blog to do just that. Get the words that were left unsaid from the draft section. They may be coherent or just ramblings but maybe they will be the words that help someone else to see the value of speaking up and they will open up too.

No ending salutation.

Nikki